Warning: This post may be a little sad.....
It's been a little while since I last posted on the blog. To be honest, it's hard to write anything at the moment since losing Granny and then my beautiful Mother In Law both within 3 weeks a couple of weeks ago.
There have been times when I have had to literally talk and pray myself out of a pit. A pit of hopelessness and grief and that feeling that without any say in it, we were all just thrown into. If this has happened to you, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
I've been thinking about pits a lot lately, whether they be emotional, spiritual, mental, physical... Life seems to be a journey of either being thrown into them, mistakenly falling into them or choosing to jump into them through our own thoughts and actions and then once we are in them, we have to choose to get out of them. During times of grief, it becomes very easy to just stay in the pit, even in sadness and hopelessness, sometimes that just seems easier than trying to find the strength to pull yourself out.
For me recently this has been a huge battle and prayer and exercise (and the odd piece of chocolate) has played a big part in yanking me out and back into reality but I am still on the edge of this slippery pit and have to fight off the anxiety, sadness, lack of confidence, and hopelessness that the grief pit offers refuge from.
It would be much easier I tell myself to dwell there and not speak to anyone, shut the business down indefinitely, and just forget anything that needs doing, but there is something inside me that forces me to be strong and push on, perhaps it is the Holy Spirit working in me ..... and so I am.
I remind myself each day of my blessings and the need to trust God in all situations good and bad. One of the greatest things is that I have this beautiful little business to keep me focused and busy, such amazing ladies that are part of this journey with me... and when it's quiet in my day, I get to work on my music too and our little girl Annaliese and I sing and dance around and for that I am so grateful.
I know it will take a while to heal and for that I need to be kind and patient with myself and with my husband Mark too as we are in this together. If you are in this place too, give yourself a break and just breath and give thanks for all you have.
...and so dear ladies, I want to say thank you. Thank you for your understanding, continued support and love for our little business. Spring is just around the corner and I am looking forward in hope to a brighter season ahead.
Til next time....
Love Janine xxxx